The other day I got some news that threw me for a loop;
I felt like a headless chicken running ‘round the chicken coop.
You see, I met this awesome guy who made me lose my mind.
A handsome man so witty and sexy can be awful hard to find.
We both had friends from childhood days who knew us oh so well.
They figured if we two hooked up we’d get along rather well.
My friend called me and his called him and we agreed upon a date
To meet at Charlie’s Ribs and Ale next Friday night at eight.
Well, I was pretty keen on the idea of meeting someone new;
The last few dates I had were dull as hell and that would never do
See, I’m the kind of girl who likes to go out and have some fun.
A couple of hours with some boring dude would have me on the run.
I’m really not high maintenance, I just need some stimulation;
The kind that gets my juices flowing and speeds up my circulation.
I know you know what I’m referring to; I can see it in your eyes.
I want a man who knows what’s what, the hows and whens and whys.
So, there I was at Charlie’s, me and my friend waiting for our dates
When in walked these cool guys who made me want to masturbate.
They came straight to my table and I knew right off the bat
This blue-eyed, bearded devil was a curious kind of cat.
He looked at me and I at him and our eyebrows began to rise;
When we thought perhaps we knew each other almost all our lives.
We’d no idea that this blind date would not be so blind at all
For although we thought we knew each other we couldn’t quite recall.
In fact, we never took the time to learn each other’s names.
Our paths crossed countless times before as kids playing kiddie games.
Yeah, we were nameless friends in school in days from way back when.
We even went to church at times, seeing each other now and again.
We attended the same college where we learned a thing or two
But we never said “Hey, what’s your name? I think I may know you!”
Now here we were having loads of fun, hitting it off like two peas in a pod;
But the incredible fact that we sorta knew each other was really very odd.
The night flew by, we ate and drank; this guy could talk the talk
And deep inside my womanly mind I knew he could walk the walk.
So, I took a wild chance and asked him to come back to my place;
He looked at me, eyes twinkling and a roguish grin upon his face.
We tried to act all nonchalant, no need to rush the night.
He said he was a poet; I said “No kidding? I like to write!”
We sat real close on my old couch and he said “Tell me, what’s your sign?”
I turned to him, said “Pisces” and he said “Yeah? That’s the same as mine!”
He wove his fingers through my hair and slowly pulled back my head.
I opened my mouth and licked my lips saying “Take me to my bed.”
We started slow, real nice and easy, just feeling each other out
But it didn’t take long before both of us were doing the ‘Twist and Shout’.
This went on the whole night long; he was quite the voracious lad.
I met him thrust for thrust and lick for lick and none of it was bad.
We spent the next few days together; we got along really great.
He told me his name was Kevin and I told him my name was Kate.
He said he lived in Baltimore now but was born in Kathmandu.
His eyes nearly popped out his head when I said “Jesus! I was too!”
Things were really getting eerie now; we both knew this was bizarre
Especially when we simultaneously said “On March 10th at Paropakar!”
Now hold on, wait just a damn minute; how could this possibly be?
We were born in the same hospital on the same day in 1983!
Our piercing eyes stared at each other as we silently sipped our tea.
Who was going to ask the next question? Was it me or possibly he?
I grabbed the bull by the horns, so to speak, and said “What’s your mom’s name?”
He lowered his cup rather slowly and replied somewhat warily “It’s Germaine.”
I heaved an enormous sigh of relief which proved to be premature
Cos he was adopted; his birth mom’s name was Faye, of that he was quite sure.
I think I peed my pants right then and nearly fainted as I screamed “No way!
For you see, Kevin, I was adopted, too, and my birth mom’s name was Faye!”
Now this is no laughing matter, dear readers, for I’d just had me a fuck like no other
Who turned out to be to my shock and dismay my long-lost fraternal twin brother!